We Need Each Other

I was thinking in the past couple of weeks, we are really living a strange life nowadays. On one hand, we are surrounded by so much stimulation in the form of social media, email, instant messaging, etc., we hardly have time to ourselves anymore. On the other hand, we have never been more lonely.

With the integration of the Internet, digital communication, and social media, we have steadily been distancing ourselves from each other while keeping in more or less constant contact.

Our relationships have become virtual.

At the same time, we have drawn apart and have never felt so lonely.

COVID made this all even more apparent. Not only did we step back from the real contact we had with one another, we became divided.

Mask or no mask?

Vaccine or no vaccine?

These are just additions to the ever-growing list of things that divide us.

It seems we can’t simply disagree anymore – we feel we have to destroy the opposition.

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of it.

I’m tired of division.

I’m tired of the feeling I need to “fight for my right.”

Think about this – the one thing underlying all Jesus taught about the Kingdom of God:

The last will be first, and the first will be last (Matt. 20:16).

Whoever desired to become great among you, let him be your servant (Matt. 20:26).

The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Matt. 20:28).

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another (John 13:35).

It’s not about me.

My priority is following Jesus in all I do.

That means I love God and love people.

That means I think about others before myself.

That means I strive to be a peacemaker instead of stirring up (or maintaining) conflict.

That means I pray to see the world through Jesus’ eyes.

That means my heart should break over what breaks His heart.

Am I always successful? Unfortunately, no, I am not.

I make mistakes.

Sometimes my self-interest takes over and I do or say something boneheaded and regret it later.

But, every day, I am making progress.

So what does this have to do with being lonely?

A group from our church went out to eat a week ago, and I heard from a friend later, how much she found she was craving fellowship.

I was thinking the same thing.

We have gotten so used to being solitary and communicating with our smartphones or tablets, it’s easy to forget how much we really need each other.

We need each other!

We need more than a conversation in Messenger, or a back-and-forth in the comments of a tweet or a Facebook post.

We need that face-to-face contact.

We need the handshake, or the hug (I’m a hugger, so I prefer the latter).

We need to hear each others voices speak and look at each other whole we’re listening.

You know why, don’t you?

I have found the tone of conversations gets ugly in a hurry on social media.

I don’t have to look at you when I speak on social media.

I can’t hear the tone of your voice on social media.

Somehow, it seems we have bought into the myth that people on social media are less “real” than face-to-face, and we aren’t careful about what we “say.”

So, as we are making our way through Lent and looking forward to Easter, please allow me to make a couple of suggestions:

First, take time to unplug and be alone in silence. Plan time for this every day, I of you can. I know this sounds weird when I’m writing about how we need each other and feel lonely, but solitude (being alone in a quiet place) is important, and it’s not the same as just being by ourselves or lonely. It is easy to forget how much our devices draw our attention and interrupt us. Take time to just be alone in silence (or with quiet music), praying, meditating, whatever. It takes practice. We have become accustomed to having constant stimulation, so it won’t be easy at first, but it is worth it.

Second, pay attention to what you do on social media. Don’t allow the distance you have in an online environment make you forget there is a real person on the other side. How would you handle the conversation face to face?

Second, seek out fellowship – REAL contact – with others. I am a pastor, so I will automatically say church is a good place, but I also say it because I believe it and have experienced it for myself.

I know there are some out there who have been hurt or burned by a church or a Christian for any number of reasons. I feel your pain, because I have been there. Please know that I grieve with you. If you reach out, I can tell you about it.

We need each other.

We really do.

God loves you. I love you. And there’s nothing you can do about it!