Life Happened

The COVID-19 pandemic hit way too close to home for me this past weekend. A dear friend from high school passed away Friday from the virus. I hadn’t seen him since 1983, except for pictures and videos on Facebook, but we were in contact. After I moved back to the US, he and I had written back and forth about getting together and singing together again, like we did in high school.

I have been back in the US for more than 13 months now, but we never got to meet.

Why?

Life happened…

That will always haunt me: that little, often used excuse. Those two small words that step in as a pat answer for anything we don’t get to do… or miss… or just let slide.

Life happened…

I wanted to get together with him. I wanted to sing with him again. I wanted for us to just be able to sit down and talk with each other about the last 30-plus years…

…but life happened.

This time of stay-home orders, this open-end mandatory time-out from everyday life, should lead us all to re-evaluate our priorities – in every aspect of our lives. Should we ever again accept the excuse that “life happened?” Should we allow ourselves to be so passive and willingly helpless that nothing counts?

I say no.

I don’t mean we should become impossibly rigid, but that we should, again, seriously re-evaluate our priorities.

The thing about “life happened” is that it serves as a catch-all excuse for any deviation – for not showing up. That can, and has, become a problem.

No date night with your spouse this week? Life happened.

No devotionals today? Life happened.

Didn’t meet your old friend? Life happened.

Guess what? Life happened when his life ended without us meeting again. I know his life belonged to the Lord, so I know we will meet again, but I still have to think about this past year that went by without my taking the time to drive out and see him.

Yep, life happened, but it didn’t have to happen exactly that way.

So, no more excuses.

Let’s take a long, hard look at our priorities. Let’s readjust them. Let’s not find time, but TAKE time for what is important. Let’s look at the top three. Yes, there are others below these, but these are the big three.

Priority one: spiritual disciplines.

This is a no-brainer. This should not even need to be listed as a priority. We don’t list breathing as a priority. How stupid would that be? I need to breathe, or I will not survive. In fact, I don’t even have to be intentional about breathing – it is a part of me. That is what we should want with spiritual disciplines. Time in God’s Word. Time in prayer. Quiet time with the Lord. These should be an integral part of us like breathing; not that they become so automatic as to be meaningless, but that they never lose that first priority.

Priority two: family.

This is another no-brainer. My wife and I married late in life – we were both single into our forties – so we each have our own “things” we do. But, for all that, we need to be intentional about the things we do TOGETHER. We all need this! A marriage does not just happen; it is a lot of work. Take the time. Put forth the effort.

Priority three: relationships (church family and friends).

This has fallen out of niveau in the world, especially in the past few decades. This is why I don’t think the whole COVID-19 isolation order is entirely a bad thing. As an introvert myself, I don’t mind the alone time as much as my extroverted wife does, but even I am getting some cabin fever. I need to get out and do something different. I miss being around other people. I miss my church family and everyone at school.

I need alone time to recharge, but right now, I feel like my batteries are overcharging to the point they are in danger of exploding!

Contact, relationship, connection. These things have been taken for granted for so long that people were actively (though not maliciously) neglecting them. Relationships, even close relationships, became superficial. “Let’s get together” became the most misused, and least genuine, line in everyday vernacular, closely followed by, what else, “life happened.” Technology and social media have made us more attached to virtual relationships. The irony is, now that we are almost entirely limited to virtual relationships, we find ourselves starving for the real thing.

Let’s start planning right now what we are going to do when we can finally get out and be with each other again!

You know what I’m going to do? I am NOT going to just let life happen. I am going to take the time, instead of waiting to find it. I am going to plan a day trip (or two, or three… however many it takes). I am going to get in the car and drive the three hours to my home town. I am going to plan time with old friends I have only seen on Facebook for however many years. I am going to sit down with them, drink a cup of coffee, and talk about old times (and new times). I am going to appreciate and enjoy every minute we have, just spending time together, face-to-face. Most of all, I am going to give them each a big hug, and tell them I love them.

Because it is important. Because it matters. Because we don’t always get another chance.

I refuse to take it for granted anymore. I refuse to let another opportunity like that pass me by.

I do not want the pain of having to say “life happened” in regret ever again.